Sunday, 19 November 2017

I AM NOT YOUR GAY BEST FRIEND



It is only recently that I let my close friends and family know that I was gay. Most of them had figured it out already, and those that didn't... Well I'm starting to question their intelligence a little bit. However, all jokes aside, it was still a very big moment for me and something that had my heart pumping at a million miles an hour. I'm not in any sort of way, attempting to get sympathy. Being gay does not require sympathy. I don't need to be felt sorry for. Despite this, there is one thing in particular about being gay that, to put it bluntly, really pisses me off. 

I was so shocked after coming out, at the amount of people that will come up to you, normally heavily intoxicated on a night out, and say "You can be my gay best friend." 

Sorry, what? 

First of all, I think its quite a degrading label, like you are some sort of accessory. When an actual friend calls you this, its different. Because I'm actually their friend because I'm a decent human being, not just because I'm gay. 

What are the requirements of a gay best friend?   

Is it that we have to pick out your outfits? Help you with boy drama?

Why would you want to be friends with someone only based on their sexuality. Hate to break it to you, but not all gay people are eccentric bundles of fun. Not all gay people meet that criteria. 

It's really not the end of the world, and it isn't something that I would ever kick up a huge fuss about. In fact, often its a good indicator for me, of who to avoid and not develop friendships with. Maybe its something that irritates me, rather than angers me. 

However, when you actually sit and think about it and put it into context it can be so offensive. 


Would you say something similar to someone of a different race?
"You can be my asian best friend"


Different religion? 

"You can be my jewish best friend"

Different nationality? 
"You can be my Indian best friend" 


No. You wouldn't. Because that is INCREDIBLY offensive. 


I think a lot of people dont really think about it. I am aware that most of the time its coming from no place of malice. However, I think that people should get educated and think about what they are actually saying. 

I am not willing to be anyones gay accessory. 


THANK-YOU 

CLAYTON EVANS

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